I have been noticing lately how well my kids get along with each other and help each other out. It is so precious to me to see them becoming such good friends. They have this amazing connection and they just know to watch out for each other and include each other in activities. Carlyle especially watches out for his little siblings and makes sure nobody takes their stuff (and believe me, if they do, they hear for it!) Carlyle is not afraid to stand up to any kid to make sure the item taken from his brother or sister is replaced by any means necessary! (growling and ripping out of hand included).
He is a comfort to his siblings. When either of them are crying he runs over and starts to say "shh shh shh..." and sings " I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck, doodle doodle doo doo doo!" Sometimes it makes them smile so big the tears stop completely! Lenore also watches out for her brothers. She is always giving Hudson kisses, and making Carlyle happy by giving him the rest of her fruit snacks or hot dogs when Carlyle ate all his first. She is very good at sharing as long as someone asks her first. If they say please, she will give up almost anything!
James and I were watching CB shoot hoops in the living room tonight and Hudson was just beaming watching his big brother play basketball. Carlyle caught notice of Hudson's smiles and giggles, he went over and gave him the ball and said, "Here Huddie's, you shoot it!" We told him how nice it was to share with his brother and he then proceeded to help him shoot it. He took his hands and helped hold the ball and said, "shoot!", then took the ball and shot it up in the hoop and gave Hudson all the credit! Where did he learn such sweetness? It was one of those tear up moments as a parent to witness a 3 year old be so Christ like. It made Hudson's night to get that kind of attention from his hero! Their love for each other definitely makes me proud.
They love being around each other. We have been having to put Lenore in the pack and play in the boys room because she keeps falling out of the bed and her and Carlyle don't sleep when we put them together anymore. They just stay up and play until Carlyle plays to rough and Lenore ends up in tears. But now Carlyle always asks for her to sleep with him, "My Lenore, my Lenore, I need my Lenore!" We sometimes give in, but it always ends the same... (with Lenore back in the pack and play.) I like it though, because Lenore and Hudson are also developing a pretty sweet relationship too. She and him just look at each other, chat in Chinese, and giggle through the cribs. It is funny to listen to, and she keeps Hudson occupied a little longer some mornings to give me a little extra sleep. :)
Carlyle loves getting Lenore to play organized activities with him. They were in the bath tonight and he stood up and said, "Hold my hand Lenore." She does, and they start going around in a circle singing Ring Around the Rosie. About the time it gets to ashes, ashes Lenore says down and falls, and Carlyle (a little frustrated) sings the rest by himself and splashes into the water. I had James bring a video camera up, but as soon as it started to film Carlyle got goofy and shy, so we didn't get a good recording but it was cute.
Hudson woke up shortly after and I asked the kids if he could take a bath with them and Carlyle did not want him to! "No No put his shirt on! he is too little for the water!"- interpretation: (he was concerned about the water being to high for him because I usually only put an inch or two in the tub and fill it up more after I take Hudson out. After I assured Carlyle he would be okay and set him in the water, he was very excited that his, "baby Hudson" got to join them! And Hudson happy as can be as well! I sure love my sweet little babes! They make me want to be better... and nicer to my own siblings....
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
An End in Sight
Hurray! I am back! It has been too long! I sometimes wish I had a video camera following me around so I can say what I am thinking right then and write about it later. I have a lot of awesome thoughts and opinions that run through my mind during the day and I think "oh I have to remember to blog about that!" and do I remember? nope.
So as many of you know, I just finished my LAST class before student teaching! I have to say it was a surreal moment for me. I remember a little over 3 years ago, when I started with the University of Phoenix, I was given a schedule of all my classes and the dates they would start and finish. I was originally supposed to be done with classes in June 2012, but with a baby here and a baby there, I am thrilled that I just finished in the year 2012! Anyway, at the time, August 2009... the year 2012 seemed so far away! This last class and student teaching seemed so distant that there really wasn't an end in sight. It was like this for a long time, my class list seemed so long and there were times, I felt it would never get to the end!
So to actually have finished that entire schedule of listed classes they gave me back in 2009-before ANY children- is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and sometimes when reality sets in that I am almost done completely I can't help but tear up! This has been a long road and I have to say I am proud of myself! I made it here with a lot of things that could have gotten in my way to not finish. There were SO MANY times I wanted to toss in the towel and call it quits, but I didn't, there were nights I was up until 5 in the morning finishing homework, hysterical from frustration and lack of sleep, I didn't think I could function the next day. BUT somehow I did. I would get up in the morning and get 2 kids ready by myself and head to work all day, come home, sometimes clean and cook... other times get take out and ignore the household duties... feed the kids, bath them, put them to bed and start on homework. This was my life, OUR life (James too) for so long, it was just what we did. We didn't always like it, but we both stuck to it and tried not to complain to much. (James was better at the last part than me.) There were times I would have to haul both kids in the car at midnight and take James to work then come home and put the kids back to sleep and then start my daily routine in the morning. ( I recollect doing this more often, but James doesn't remember me having to take him to work that much...) I was literally doing homework, writing papers and taking tests in the hospital the day I had each of my kids. We did what we had to do and we have been made better and stronger people than we were because of it. I don't write about this to impress anyone (trust me if you saw it in action you wouldn't be that impressed!) A smile wasn't always on my face, or make up for that matter, my house was at many times a mess and I couldn't for the life of me keep up on the laundry, decorating, gift giving, and thank you card writing. I was tired.
There were definitely luxuries I missed out on. Many people who are busy with school, take time off work or cancel plans and focus solely on the assignments and test they have at hand. I mean lets face it, school is a lot of work! FOR ANYONE! Whether you have kids or not whether you are working or not, it is tough to get through it and find time for a life and school. People get stressed with a class and cannot do anything else but that until it is done... Well I never had that as an option, if I had an assignment due and James wasn't home from work, I still had to make dinner and put three kids to bed. I still had to find time somewhere in my day for my most important responsibilities. Lucky for me James and I work well together and try hard to lighten the loads as much as we can for each other, but he is in the same boat as I am! (Which by the way he will be done with classes at the beginning of February! I am so proud of him!)
Anyway, we always thought it would be nicer if James didn't have to work night anymore, and for James... it was! But for me it meant working full time. That was a trying year, (last year, first of this year). I was in some of my most demanding classes and working full time and surprised to find out we were expecting Hudson! Our 3rd little miracle! During the winter the kids and I got really sick! They were in and out of the doctor all the time, I was in and out of the hospital and care centers trying to get healthy! We even had to fly my mother in law out to take care of the kids, so I could get back to work! (How grateful we were for her! and all the support our family gave during that time!)
I became so mentally and physically exhausted I had to take something off my plate. School was in full swing and would have been hard to take a break from without having to pay for it, not being a mom or being pregnant obviously wasn't an option, so I had to be done working! I took and early maturity leave and have been at home ever since. It got a little easier when I quite, but soon Hudson was here, and 3 kids definitely threw me for a loop! I became completely out numbered and it has taken me longer to figure out this learning curve to maintaining all of them! (I am still trying to figure it out!) School never went away, until now that is... I have a whole month break! :) And it was challenging to keep up with all the other obligations I had as a family member, church member, and friend, but I don't know where are would be without any of that!
I have learned a lot about myself through all of this, one thing I learned is, I can do hard things, I am still doing hard things, there is an end in sight but this journey is not over, we are going to have a trying 3 months ahead, but I am confident we will get through it and breath a sigh of relief when this part of our life is over and the next chapter of trials begin! Now that I am to this point I can say, I definitely wouldn't trade any of these experiences for anything! They are what make me who I am, and what makes our family who we are, and has gotten us to this amazing point in our lives! We have so much to be grateful for and there are so many people who have gone through so much more adversity than me, who would read this and say "you think that was hard? haha!" And I admire those people! And am grateful I am not having to suffer difficult situations as they are. I have a good life and a blessed family and am eternally grateful for the experiences and path that Heavenly Father has given me. I look forward to finishing my student teaching in March and getting to focus on other important activities life has to offer.
So as many of you know, I just finished my LAST class before student teaching! I have to say it was a surreal moment for me. I remember a little over 3 years ago, when I started with the University of Phoenix, I was given a schedule of all my classes and the dates they would start and finish. I was originally supposed to be done with classes in June 2012, but with a baby here and a baby there, I am thrilled that I just finished in the year 2012! Anyway, at the time, August 2009... the year 2012 seemed so far away! This last class and student teaching seemed so distant that there really wasn't an end in sight. It was like this for a long time, my class list seemed so long and there were times, I felt it would never get to the end!
So to actually have finished that entire schedule of listed classes they gave me back in 2009-before ANY children- is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and sometimes when reality sets in that I am almost done completely I can't help but tear up! This has been a long road and I have to say I am proud of myself! I made it here with a lot of things that could have gotten in my way to not finish. There were SO MANY times I wanted to toss in the towel and call it quits, but I didn't, there were nights I was up until 5 in the morning finishing homework, hysterical from frustration and lack of sleep, I didn't think I could function the next day. BUT somehow I did. I would get up in the morning and get 2 kids ready by myself and head to work all day, come home, sometimes clean and cook... other times get take out and ignore the household duties... feed the kids, bath them, put them to bed and start on homework. This was my life, OUR life (James too) for so long, it was just what we did. We didn't always like it, but we both stuck to it and tried not to complain to much. (James was better at the last part than me.) There were times I would have to haul both kids in the car at midnight and take James to work then come home and put the kids back to sleep and then start my daily routine in the morning. ( I recollect doing this more often, but James doesn't remember me having to take him to work that much...) I was literally doing homework, writing papers and taking tests in the hospital the day I had each of my kids. We did what we had to do and we have been made better and stronger people than we were because of it. I don't write about this to impress anyone (trust me if you saw it in action you wouldn't be that impressed!) A smile wasn't always on my face, or make up for that matter, my house was at many times a mess and I couldn't for the life of me keep up on the laundry, decorating, gift giving, and thank you card writing. I was tired.
There were definitely luxuries I missed out on. Many people who are busy with school, take time off work or cancel plans and focus solely on the assignments and test they have at hand. I mean lets face it, school is a lot of work! FOR ANYONE! Whether you have kids or not whether you are working or not, it is tough to get through it and find time for a life and school. People get stressed with a class and cannot do anything else but that until it is done... Well I never had that as an option, if I had an assignment due and James wasn't home from work, I still had to make dinner and put three kids to bed. I still had to find time somewhere in my day for my most important responsibilities. Lucky for me James and I work well together and try hard to lighten the loads as much as we can for each other, but he is in the same boat as I am! (Which by the way he will be done with classes at the beginning of February! I am so proud of him!)
Anyway, we always thought it would be nicer if James didn't have to work night anymore, and for James... it was! But for me it meant working full time. That was a trying year, (last year, first of this year). I was in some of my most demanding classes and working full time and surprised to find out we were expecting Hudson! Our 3rd little miracle! During the winter the kids and I got really sick! They were in and out of the doctor all the time, I was in and out of the hospital and care centers trying to get healthy! We even had to fly my mother in law out to take care of the kids, so I could get back to work! (How grateful we were for her! and all the support our family gave during that time!)
I became so mentally and physically exhausted I had to take something off my plate. School was in full swing and would have been hard to take a break from without having to pay for it, not being a mom or being pregnant obviously wasn't an option, so I had to be done working! I took and early maturity leave and have been at home ever since. It got a little easier when I quite, but soon Hudson was here, and 3 kids definitely threw me for a loop! I became completely out numbered and it has taken me longer to figure out this learning curve to maintaining all of them! (I am still trying to figure it out!) School never went away, until now that is... I have a whole month break! :) And it was challenging to keep up with all the other obligations I had as a family member, church member, and friend, but I don't know where are would be without any of that!
I have learned a lot about myself through all of this, one thing I learned is, I can do hard things, I am still doing hard things, there is an end in sight but this journey is not over, we are going to have a trying 3 months ahead, but I am confident we will get through it and breath a sigh of relief when this part of our life is over and the next chapter of trials begin! Now that I am to this point I can say, I definitely wouldn't trade any of these experiences for anything! They are what make me who I am, and what makes our family who we are, and has gotten us to this amazing point in our lives! We have so much to be grateful for and there are so many people who have gone through so much more adversity than me, who would read this and say "you think that was hard? haha!" And I admire those people! And am grateful I am not having to suffer difficult situations as they are. I have a good life and a blessed family and am eternally grateful for the experiences and path that Heavenly Father has given me. I look forward to finishing my student teaching in March and getting to focus on other important activities life has to offer.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
CB's 3 year Questionaire
- What is your Nickname? "I love you"/ Bug and CB
- How old are you? "I free, I two"/ 3
- What is your favorite animal? "Elephant, I want a tiger"/ Tiger
- What is your favorite book? "I wanna read a tiger a tiger book"/ Caps for Sale
- What is your favorite TV show? "Over the Edge"/ Diego, Dora, Super Why, Dinosaur Train
- What is your favorite movie? "I wanna watch Madagascar"/ Madagascar 3
- What is your favorite song? "Jesus Christ"/ Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam, Bushel and a Peck
- What is our favorite food? "Rolls, I wanna eat hot gogs"/ Macaroni and Cheese (box kind only) and hotdogs
- What is our favorite snack? "Cookie"/ Fruit snacks and Fruities baby food
- What is your favorite thing to wear? "I wear a hat"/ Hats
- What is your favorite game? "Hoop"/ Basketball and Ipod games
- What is your favorite toy? "I wanna play Pooh, I wanna play choo choo trains"/ Pooh
- Who is your best friend? "Nicole"/ All his cousins and siblings
- What is your favorite thing to do? "I want a bike"/ Play outside with friends
- What is your favorite thing to do outside? "I wanna play the park"/ Play at the park
- What is your favorite holiday? "A Birthday"/ His birthday
- What do you like to take to bed? " A Tigger, my "B" "/ His "B", Pooh and Tigger
- Where is your favorite place to go? "I wanna go Nicole's house"/ Friends, cousins, gma's and gpa's houses.
- What is your favorite restaurant? "I eat Donalds"/ McDonald's PlayPlace
- Where do you want to go on vacation? "I wanna visit Daddy's office"
- What do you want to be when you grow up? "A basketball player, my shoot it"
- What do you want for Christmas? "A present, a hoop"/ A big basketball hoop, a bike
Sunday (not so) Funday
What to say? What to say?
I am still on the verge of a mental break down and in the last week of my final class before student teaching. I finally received my placement and start January 3rd. I am so excited to see an end in sight. I honestly tear up when I think of how difficult this journey has been and am so close to being done. It is a constant burden that is subconsciously always on mind and weighs on my shoulders. I am truly looking forward to graduation and finally after 3.5 years have the chance to just get to only be a stay at home mom for a while! Not a student and employee and a mom, but just a mom! In my mind, I feel I will be a much better mom and wife when I am done with school, I am sure it is wishful thinking, but where would I be without a dream?
So James has been working like crazy lately! One night he was in until 5 in the morning, other nights he goes in at midnight and I don't see him until the next evening. He is the hardest worker I know and as much as I despise it sometimes I really feel blessed to have such a dedicated husband who can pay our bills and allow me to be home with my kids. I suppose that out weighs the pure exhaustion that wears on both of us toward the end of each month! :) I think he is looking forward to finishing school as well so is free time is really at home with us and not in front of the computer screen!
Here are some picks of our first real snow fall! (Enough to go play in anyway)!
I can tell the kids feel the extra stress around here lately and could use some outside of the house family time! Today was unbelievably frustrating! We get the kids up and ready for church (already running late) and of coarse as soon as we are about to leave, Lenore has to have a dirty diaper... Change that get the kids in the car with half a diaper bag packed and off to church 15 minutes late. Luckily there were 2 baby blessings today so we didn't even miss the Sacrament. We are in the nursery (I honestly think God is punishing me for all my complaining and weakness). I am not sure that putting me in nursery will teach me the patience I need to learn, so I am hoping that doesn't mean I will never get released. :) James actually is better liked by the kids than me. The little girls run up to him and give him big hugs and want to sit on his lap and I get the screamers for the most part. We come home less spiritually uplifted than when we left the house that morning, and continue nursery with our kids. I get dinner on, diapers changed and fight each kid down for a nap. They all have to be in a separate room to sleep so my entire upstairs is occupied. I then hear 45 minutes later pounding on the wall and go upstairs to find Carlyle had a dirty diaper (even though he knows how to use the potty) and hasn't slept at all. We let him come downstairs because my brother had stopped by for a few minutes on his way back to CO and we knew he would want to see him. Consequence, so nap at all! James and I both had short cat naps on the couch to give each of us a little second wind to end the evening. I get dinner on, fight kids to sit and eat it, clean up, scrub down Lenore's pen covered face (she apparently got confused as to where the paper was) and fight tantrum after tantrum to just get upstairs and in bed. I am one to bath my kids EVERY night! Especially after nursery and playing with other kids. BUT tonight it just wasn't going to happen. We needed to get these kids in bed as soon as possible for everyone's sake (and safety!) I leave this paragraph off with one question... Why does Sunday seem to be one of the longest/hardest days of the week? Shouldn't it be the best? (I guess that is two questions) I may have some work to do... or take a much needed vacation to someplace warm, with palm trees.
I am still on the verge of a mental break down and in the last week of my final class before student teaching. I finally received my placement and start January 3rd. I am so excited to see an end in sight. I honestly tear up when I think of how difficult this journey has been and am so close to being done. It is a constant burden that is subconsciously always on mind and weighs on my shoulders. I am truly looking forward to graduation and finally after 3.5 years have the chance to just get to only be a stay at home mom for a while! Not a student and employee and a mom, but just a mom! In my mind, I feel I will be a much better mom and wife when I am done with school, I am sure it is wishful thinking, but where would I be without a dream?
So James has been working like crazy lately! One night he was in until 5 in the morning, other nights he goes in at midnight and I don't see him until the next evening. He is the hardest worker I know and as much as I despise it sometimes I really feel blessed to have such a dedicated husband who can pay our bills and allow me to be home with my kids. I suppose that out weighs the pure exhaustion that wears on both of us toward the end of each month! :) I think he is looking forward to finishing school as well so is free time is really at home with us and not in front of the computer screen!
Here are some picks of our first real snow fall! (Enough to go play in anyway)!
I can tell the kids feel the extra stress around here lately and could use some outside of the house family time! Today was unbelievably frustrating! We get the kids up and ready for church (already running late) and of coarse as soon as we are about to leave, Lenore has to have a dirty diaper... Change that get the kids in the car with half a diaper bag packed and off to church 15 minutes late. Luckily there were 2 baby blessings today so we didn't even miss the Sacrament. We are in the nursery (I honestly think God is punishing me for all my complaining and weakness). I am not sure that putting me in nursery will teach me the patience I need to learn, so I am hoping that doesn't mean I will never get released. :) James actually is better liked by the kids than me. The little girls run up to him and give him big hugs and want to sit on his lap and I get the screamers for the most part. We come home less spiritually uplifted than when we left the house that morning, and continue nursery with our kids. I get dinner on, diapers changed and fight each kid down for a nap. They all have to be in a separate room to sleep so my entire upstairs is occupied. I then hear 45 minutes later pounding on the wall and go upstairs to find Carlyle had a dirty diaper (even though he knows how to use the potty) and hasn't slept at all. We let him come downstairs because my brother had stopped by for a few minutes on his way back to CO and we knew he would want to see him. Consequence, so nap at all! James and I both had short cat naps on the couch to give each of us a little second wind to end the evening. I get dinner on, fight kids to sit and eat it, clean up, scrub down Lenore's pen covered face (she apparently got confused as to where the paper was) and fight tantrum after tantrum to just get upstairs and in bed. I am one to bath my kids EVERY night! Especially after nursery and playing with other kids. BUT tonight it just wasn't going to happen. We needed to get these kids in bed as soon as possible for everyone's sake (and safety!) I leave this paragraph off with one question... Why does Sunday seem to be one of the longest/hardest days of the week? Shouldn't it be the best? (I guess that is two questions) I may have some work to do... or take a much needed vacation to someplace warm, with palm trees.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Burnt
The other night my incredibly gifted and overly energized sister-in-law, joking called me an over achiever. My response to her was she was the over achiever NOT me! After reflecting on her comment I realized I was correct in my response. I am not an over achiever just because I have a lot going on, I am a whiner and have not mastered the skill of staying sane and remaining busy (unlike my sister-in-law, who I feel has this talent). I have been completely occupied with projects and homework and goals the last few weeks, I am starting to get burnt out and on the verge of a large melt down! (I know it will be large because I have had the mini ones already) ... I feel completely unjustified for feeling as though I am taking on too much because I see women who I am sure have more to do than me and they never seem to complain or be stressed. I do have 3 kids (whom I love), am in school full time, have taken on another child full time, am planning and preparing a family menu for an entire week with James's family for Thanksgiving (although, I am enjoying this task) have started working out and trying to eat healthy (which is time consuming and mind consuming) and I feel like a failure by the end of most days with the things on this list as well as household duties I haven't gotten completed.
I try to do things I enjoy, like blogging and continuing to teach myself to sew. Which, by the way, I just finished my first baby blanket all on my own! (I know this is simple to any seamstress, but exciting for me because I have only been sewing for a few months.) Even though these moments are few, I can feel guilty and selfish for taking that time to decompress... Like right now, I have 2 assignments due and I would rather be here writing to help sort my thoughts and let me relax, which means I will be up late and tired in the morning and my kids my suffer a little for that.
I wish I could just turn off my brain and turn off the lights and close my eyes and have it be completely silent for a while. I can now see why people meditate. I may need to take that up!- Wait that is one more thing I would have to add to my list, never mind.
Well I had better finish up those assignments (oh I just remembered I need to go shred the pork for the thanksgiving "reunion" too) and then get to bed. I think I am just extra burnt out today because of little sleep and a long day. Jillian Micheal's and I have a workout date in the morning that I look forward to so I will have a productive and well balanced day tomorrow! I only have 3 weeks left of school and I am completed with class forever! It will be a glorious day! If I can hang in there until December 3rd (my last day of class) I think a large weight I have been carrying around for about 7 years, which got heavier after I had kids, will be lifted off my shoulders and I will be given a little more breathing room, along with wiggle room to do my decompressing activities and not feel overwhelmed with all the small things I have going on. Then just maybe I can enjoy an evening of relaxing without the thought of having something else I should be doing constantly on the brain. Who knows maybe my anxiety will be minimal as well! One can hope right?
I try to do things I enjoy, like blogging and continuing to teach myself to sew. Which, by the way, I just finished my first baby blanket all on my own! (I know this is simple to any seamstress, but exciting for me because I have only been sewing for a few months.) Even though these moments are few, I can feel guilty and selfish for taking that time to decompress... Like right now, I have 2 assignments due and I would rather be here writing to help sort my thoughts and let me relax, which means I will be up late and tired in the morning and my kids my suffer a little for that.
I wish I could just turn off my brain and turn off the lights and close my eyes and have it be completely silent for a while. I can now see why people meditate. I may need to take that up!- Wait that is one more thing I would have to add to my list, never mind.
Well I had better finish up those assignments (oh I just remembered I need to go shred the pork for the thanksgiving "reunion" too) and then get to bed. I think I am just extra burnt out today because of little sleep and a long day. Jillian Micheal's and I have a workout date in the morning that I look forward to so I will have a productive and well balanced day tomorrow! I only have 3 weeks left of school and I am completed with class forever! It will be a glorious day! If I can hang in there until December 3rd (my last day of class) I think a large weight I have been carrying around for about 7 years, which got heavier after I had kids, will be lifted off my shoulders and I will be given a little more breathing room, along with wiggle room to do my decompressing activities and not feel overwhelmed with all the small things I have going on. Then just maybe I can enjoy an evening of relaxing without the thought of having something else I should be doing constantly on the brain. Who knows maybe my anxiety will be minimal as well! One can hope right?
Sunday, November 4, 2012
"I'm a Freak" Badge
So I haven't had a computer because it cashed a few weeks ago, and I only get access to one some nights and the weekends. This makes it very difficult to keep up on my blog. Also because my computer crashed I don't have pictures right now, but its a good thing for facebook because I can upload them there for everyone to see. Shoot- I just remembered I had free shutterfly prints I needed to use by October 31! I hate when that happens. I just wish I would never remember at all! Oh well... life goes on. Anyway, one day I will post pictures and liven up this blog... but in the mean time I will continue to write about the stories of my days and you will just have to check out my FB page if you want to see in pics, the joys of my life.
I have to just start out by saying that being a mom of 3 kids under 3- and now I am watching another little girl, just about to turn 2- is a lot of work! It is so hard to get out of the house or keep anything cleaned while I am home. As soon as one room is cleaned the children have managed to completely destroy another room, if I clean that room, the room I just cleaned previously is now hit by the hurricane of children! And you can forget about organizing anything with the kids around. When I organize I have to pull everything out of what I am organizing, and the kids want to "help" by going through everything I have pulled out and finding another use for it, than what it is meant to be used for. For example, if I am to organize a closet ... my living room is scattered with everything that needs to go in the closet. So... I try to do that kind of stuff at night or during nap time when the kids are asleep. BUT, that means I don't get to watch TV and sit in meaningless thought to decompress. I need that from time to time... Then there is leaving the house. I get everyone dressed, Lenore's hair pulled up, and myself descent enough to be scene in public- make-up on half the time, depending on how entertained I can get my kids on a show that morning- diaper bag packed: wipes, diapers, clean underwear and pants, water, formula, bottle, binkies, snacks, and wallet. Diapers changed. Carlyle goes potty. Hudson barfs on himself, new clothes on. Lenore poops right before walking out the door, change her again. Hustle everyone in the car- buckle everyone in car seats- it takes about 5-7 minutes. I then come back inside the house- completely exhausted at this point and generally running late to wherever I need to be- and pick up toys and do a quick clean. Many times I leave the house a mess if I a going to an appointment or something. Anyway, it is at least a 60 minute process depending on where I need to go. If I could pick the one thing I miss about not having kids is the ability to come and go as I please. I have realized about myself that I am NOT really a home body. I like leaving my house and going and doing, but it is so much work to do it with 3-4 kids. I don't get out as much as I would like.
I can really only run 1 errand where the kids have to get out of the car because of the work it takes to get them out and put them back in. I generally don't like going places without a cart because I need a place to contain them all. I made the horrifying mistake a few weeks ago to go to Old Navy by myself with all four kids. Now,I wear the "I'm a freak!" badge with honor, but even this was a whole new level of "what the heck is that mom doing?" I thought Old Navy had regular carts, I could put Hudson in the front and the 3 others in the back and grab the one pair of pants I needed for Carlyle. Well... they don't have regular carts, they have stupid little carts that have a small basket on top and a small basket on bottom. I was able to squeeze the baby carrier on top (which you aren't supposed to do), and -this is where I look extra special people!- I stuff Lenore in the bottom cart! (which you also aren't supposed to do) Yep! It is sometimes nice to have such a small little child. She didn't like it much, and I don't think the Old Navy staff did either, but what choice did I have? I can not herd the cattle of 3 kids, I was surely pushing it with the 2 walking. I was able to make it to the back of the store just fine, until Kara takes off running and Carlyle follows. They are getting too far for me to run and catch them with my already endangered children in the cart, so I have to raise my voice to get them to hear me and come back. Luckily for me, they are good kids and listen after only calling their names 4 times- sense the sarcasm. Well the chasing and grabbing things doesn't completely stop. I am causing a scene and I already hate unwanted attention, so I quickly grab what I need and head to the check out. By this time Lenore has had enough and is screaming and trying to climb out of the cart. Kara and Carlyle keep disappearing as I am trying to pay, and the check out lady has the nerve to ask me if I have 2 minutes to fill out a credit card application. Are you serious? Can you not see I wouldn't have 2 minutes to spare? I am kinda in the middle of something, you know? Herding my children...
Well we did all make it back in the car safe and sound and I am in for a much needed nap at this point and have decided I will NEVER go back to Old Navy with children... EVER! In fact many times, now that I have Kara, I drop Carlyle off at James's office and go do errands and come back and get him. He loves it and it's one less set of eyes and hands I need to have.
I took the kids down to Layton the other day to go for a little drive and get a change of scenery, we just went to the mall to play on the toys. I took my sister with me and she commented on how exhausted the kids made her. I can only laugh at her comment because I can relate, except it is every day of my life! Don't mistake this post as a complaint, because that is not at all what it is! I love being a stay at home mom and putting every ounce of energy I have into my children. It is just the reality of my situation, even though I enjoy my kids, it is sure tiring! Everything now takes 3Xs as long as it used to and with more emotional and physical strength and energy than I have ever had experience with. Although rewarding, the work involved is tough and draining and sometimes by the end of the week I just need a little break.
Thankfully for me I have the most wonderfully helpful husband! I don't give that man as much credit and appreciation as he deserves. I honestly don't know what I would do without him! He relieves me at the times I need it most and will take all 3 kids in his care- which a lot of men couldn't or wouldn't do. I am so grateful for him! He let's me get rest on the weekends if he can be home, and going out with the kids is actually fun! Even though any set of hands is helpful, his are the incomparable to any other! He always carries the car seat and gets the kids in and out of the car, he is always holding them or keeping them in line. I enjoy that we work together with the kids when we are out and I don't have to direct help or feel guilty for needing it...and I can ask him to do anything and he does it without complaint. He keeps my sanity and is such a good dad! Our children adore him and it makes me the most happy when we get those times together as a family getting to do something fun, because of all the hard work he puts in at his job. I wish I had that mans strength and I try to have his attitude to make the best of everything. He lets me unload my hard day and calms my irrational stresses. Anyway, I love James and I love my kids, and even though it is tough some days to do the simple things, I have an amazing life and I wouldn't change anything about it or anyone in it!
I have to just start out by saying that being a mom of 3 kids under 3- and now I am watching another little girl, just about to turn 2- is a lot of work! It is so hard to get out of the house or keep anything cleaned while I am home. As soon as one room is cleaned the children have managed to completely destroy another room, if I clean that room, the room I just cleaned previously is now hit by the hurricane of children! And you can forget about organizing anything with the kids around. When I organize I have to pull everything out of what I am organizing, and the kids want to "help" by going through everything I have pulled out and finding another use for it, than what it is meant to be used for. For example, if I am to organize a closet ... my living room is scattered with everything that needs to go in the closet. So... I try to do that kind of stuff at night or during nap time when the kids are asleep. BUT, that means I don't get to watch TV and sit in meaningless thought to decompress. I need that from time to time... Then there is leaving the house. I get everyone dressed, Lenore's hair pulled up, and myself descent enough to be scene in public- make-up on half the time, depending on how entertained I can get my kids on a show that morning- diaper bag packed: wipes, diapers, clean underwear and pants, water, formula, bottle, binkies, snacks, and wallet. Diapers changed. Carlyle goes potty. Hudson barfs on himself, new clothes on. Lenore poops right before walking out the door, change her again. Hustle everyone in the car- buckle everyone in car seats- it takes about 5-7 minutes. I then come back inside the house- completely exhausted at this point and generally running late to wherever I need to be- and pick up toys and do a quick clean. Many times I leave the house a mess if I a going to an appointment or something. Anyway, it is at least a 60 minute process depending on where I need to go. If I could pick the one thing I miss about not having kids is the ability to come and go as I please. I have realized about myself that I am NOT really a home body. I like leaving my house and going and doing, but it is so much work to do it with 3-4 kids. I don't get out as much as I would like.
I can really only run 1 errand where the kids have to get out of the car because of the work it takes to get them out and put them back in. I generally don't like going places without a cart because I need a place to contain them all. I made the horrifying mistake a few weeks ago to go to Old Navy by myself with all four kids. Now,I wear the "I'm a freak!" badge with honor, but even this was a whole new level of "what the heck is that mom doing?" I thought Old Navy had regular carts, I could put Hudson in the front and the 3 others in the back and grab the one pair of pants I needed for Carlyle. Well... they don't have regular carts, they have stupid little carts that have a small basket on top and a small basket on bottom. I was able to squeeze the baby carrier on top (which you aren't supposed to do), and -this is where I look extra special people!- I stuff Lenore in the bottom cart! (which you also aren't supposed to do) Yep! It is sometimes nice to have such a small little child. She didn't like it much, and I don't think the Old Navy staff did either, but what choice did I have? I can not herd the cattle of 3 kids, I was surely pushing it with the 2 walking. I was able to make it to the back of the store just fine, until Kara takes off running and Carlyle follows. They are getting too far for me to run and catch them with my already endangered children in the cart, so I have to raise my voice to get them to hear me and come back. Luckily for me, they are good kids and listen after only calling their names 4 times- sense the sarcasm. Well the chasing and grabbing things doesn't completely stop. I am causing a scene and I already hate unwanted attention, so I quickly grab what I need and head to the check out. By this time Lenore has had enough and is screaming and trying to climb out of the cart. Kara and Carlyle keep disappearing as I am trying to pay, and the check out lady has the nerve to ask me if I have 2 minutes to fill out a credit card application. Are you serious? Can you not see I wouldn't have 2 minutes to spare? I am kinda in the middle of something, you know? Herding my children...
Well we did all make it back in the car safe and sound and I am in for a much needed nap at this point and have decided I will NEVER go back to Old Navy with children... EVER! In fact many times, now that I have Kara, I drop Carlyle off at James's office and go do errands and come back and get him. He loves it and it's one less set of eyes and hands I need to have.
I took the kids down to Layton the other day to go for a little drive and get a change of scenery, we just went to the mall to play on the toys. I took my sister with me and she commented on how exhausted the kids made her. I can only laugh at her comment because I can relate, except it is every day of my life! Don't mistake this post as a complaint, because that is not at all what it is! I love being a stay at home mom and putting every ounce of energy I have into my children. It is just the reality of my situation, even though I enjoy my kids, it is sure tiring! Everything now takes 3Xs as long as it used to and with more emotional and physical strength and energy than I have ever had experience with. Although rewarding, the work involved is tough and draining and sometimes by the end of the week I just need a little break.
Thankfully for me I have the most wonderfully helpful husband! I don't give that man as much credit and appreciation as he deserves. I honestly don't know what I would do without him! He relieves me at the times I need it most and will take all 3 kids in his care- which a lot of men couldn't or wouldn't do. I am so grateful for him! He let's me get rest on the weekends if he can be home, and going out with the kids is actually fun! Even though any set of hands is helpful, his are the incomparable to any other! He always carries the car seat and gets the kids in and out of the car, he is always holding them or keeping them in line. I enjoy that we work together with the kids when we are out and I don't have to direct help or feel guilty for needing it...and I can ask him to do anything and he does it without complaint. He keeps my sanity and is such a good dad! Our children adore him and it makes me the most happy when we get those times together as a family getting to do something fun, because of all the hard work he puts in at his job. I wish I had that mans strength and I try to have his attitude to make the best of everything. He lets me unload my hard day and calms my irrational stresses. Anyway, I love James and I love my kids, and even though it is tough some days to do the simple things, I have an amazing life and I wouldn't change anything about it or anyone in it!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Carlyle
Happy Birthday Carlyle! Today my little man turns 3! It has been the most wonderful 3 years of my life! He is the funniest and sweetest kid I know and I could not even imagine my life with out his hugs and kisses everyday. I remember the day he came so clear and think it is wise to recall my thoughts before I do forget that most wonderful day!
I found out I was pregnant with Carlyle in March of 2009 and a few weeks later I could physically feel the effects this pregnancy had to offer and for about 7 months I was MISERABLE! I was so sick... and every morning I needed to plan for an extra 15 minutes to throw up before I left the house. I remember swelling up like a balloon fairly soon, but it became worse and worse as the due date became closer. My blood pressure was high throughout the pregnancy, but also toward the end became worrisome. I was in and out of labor and delivery and being monitored every week, until I was put on bed rest around the 17th of October. Keep in mind, my due date was November 16th. What the heck was I going to do for a month on bed rest? Yeah right. Not going to happen!- Now that I am a mother of 3 however, I would LOVE to be put on bed rest for a while- "sorry honey, doctor says I have to stay in bed". :)
The 20th of October I was feeling especially sick. I could hardly move and was in the bathroom vomiting for quite some time. I cried to James, I was ready to be done and this baby needed to come. I could feel it was time, but my doctor was really trying to keep in there as long as possible- for good reason- but mother intuition knew he was ready to come into the world! James was worried about me and called the hospital, they said I should come in because what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I went into Labor and Delivery and they monitored me and checked everything possible to see if I was okay to go home. Turns out I had preeclampsia and after 6 hours in the hospital, Dr. Horsley-who wasn't my current doctor- came into the room and told me he is going to induce me and take the baby tonight. My blood pressure was just to high to continue the pregnancy and he was confident this was the best decision for me and the baby.
I remember feeling scared and excited and relieved and worried about delivering a baby for the first time, all at the same time. About 10:00 pm he started the process and came back at 8:30am to start the pitocin. It was a long delivery and I had to be on Magnesium because of my blood pressure, and for those that don't know, Magnesium can make you very tired. From about 830-145 I progressed to a 4 and from 145-2 I was at a 10 and could feel the urge to push. I started pushing around 2:15 and he arrived at 2:30 pm, 7lbs 2oz and 19in long- huge for being 4 weeks early, thankfully!
It was love at first sight, I can still hear that first cry and they placed him in my arms. So... we took a few pictures and I was OUT! I could vaguely remember the nurses and James telling me they had to take Carlyle to the NICU because his lungs weren't in rhythmic breathing and they were needing to monitor him. I was asleep and could barely gain enough consciousness to be transported up to Recovery. I was asleep for the next 3 hours until they brought Carlyle back into my room as a healthy beautiful boy! I fell back asleep during his first bath and could remember the nurse saying, "mommy will be going back to sleep for a bit" and I couldn't help myself in falling back asleep. It wasn't until later that night, when the magnesium wore off , when I could really admire him, I couldn't believe how beautiful he was and how much I could love someone. He was perfect! I to this day thank Heavenly Father for allowing me to be the mother of such a perfect soul. I learn so much from him and just love having him apart of our little family.
Carlyle is such a wonderful boy, he is sensitive and shy, but makes friends with peers and siblings easy because he is a leader. He is happy and loves to play and learn. His favorite animal right now is a Tiger and his favorite color is Blue. He could eat fruit snacks and mac and cheese at every meal and his #1 person is mommy, but his best friend is Lenore and Hudson is a close second! He loves sleeping in mommy's bed, watching movies, playing with any and all electronic devices, "shooting hoops", going to grandparents houses or having them come see us, riding in Grandpa Johnson's truck, playing with friends and cousins, reading books, playing with cars, playing outside, and of coarse his "B"- blanket- Pooh and Tiger.
He may look like the typical little 3 year old boy to everyone else, but he is far from typical to me and I am honored he is mine! I am so proud of him and look forward to the next 3 years I have before he starts school, and I assume they will go by just as fast as the first 3! I will write another post here this week about his party and hopefully I will learn how to post pictures!
Here are the Birthday pics!! Enjoy!
I found out I was pregnant with Carlyle in March of 2009 and a few weeks later I could physically feel the effects this pregnancy had to offer and for about 7 months I was MISERABLE! I was so sick... and every morning I needed to plan for an extra 15 minutes to throw up before I left the house. I remember swelling up like a balloon fairly soon, but it became worse and worse as the due date became closer. My blood pressure was high throughout the pregnancy, but also toward the end became worrisome. I was in and out of labor and delivery and being monitored every week, until I was put on bed rest around the 17th of October. Keep in mind, my due date was November 16th. What the heck was I going to do for a month on bed rest? Yeah right. Not going to happen!- Now that I am a mother of 3 however, I would LOVE to be put on bed rest for a while- "sorry honey, doctor says I have to stay in bed". :)
The 20th of October I was feeling especially sick. I could hardly move and was in the bathroom vomiting for quite some time. I cried to James, I was ready to be done and this baby needed to come. I could feel it was time, but my doctor was really trying to keep in there as long as possible- for good reason- but mother intuition knew he was ready to come into the world! James was worried about me and called the hospital, they said I should come in because what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I went into Labor and Delivery and they monitored me and checked everything possible to see if I was okay to go home. Turns out I had preeclampsia and after 6 hours in the hospital, Dr. Horsley-who wasn't my current doctor- came into the room and told me he is going to induce me and take the baby tonight. My blood pressure was just to high to continue the pregnancy and he was confident this was the best decision for me and the baby.
I remember feeling scared and excited and relieved and worried about delivering a baby for the first time, all at the same time. About 10:00 pm he started the process and came back at 8:30am to start the pitocin. It was a long delivery and I had to be on Magnesium because of my blood pressure, and for those that don't know, Magnesium can make you very tired. From about 830-145 I progressed to a 4 and from 145-2 I was at a 10 and could feel the urge to push. I started pushing around 2:15 and he arrived at 2:30 pm, 7lbs 2oz and 19in long- huge for being 4 weeks early, thankfully!
It was love at first sight, I can still hear that first cry and they placed him in my arms. So... we took a few pictures and I was OUT! I could vaguely remember the nurses and James telling me they had to take Carlyle to the NICU because his lungs weren't in rhythmic breathing and they were needing to monitor him. I was asleep and could barely gain enough consciousness to be transported up to Recovery. I was asleep for the next 3 hours until they brought Carlyle back into my room as a healthy beautiful boy! I fell back asleep during his first bath and could remember the nurse saying, "mommy will be going back to sleep for a bit" and I couldn't help myself in falling back asleep. It wasn't until later that night, when the magnesium wore off , when I could really admire him, I couldn't believe how beautiful he was and how much I could love someone. He was perfect! I to this day thank Heavenly Father for allowing me to be the mother of such a perfect soul. I learn so much from him and just love having him apart of our little family.
Carlyle is such a wonderful boy, he is sensitive and shy, but makes friends with peers and siblings easy because he is a leader. He is happy and loves to play and learn. His favorite animal right now is a Tiger and his favorite color is Blue. He could eat fruit snacks and mac and cheese at every meal and his #1 person is mommy, but his best friend is Lenore and Hudson is a close second! He loves sleeping in mommy's bed, watching movies, playing with any and all electronic devices, "shooting hoops", going to grandparents houses or having them come see us, riding in Grandpa Johnson's truck, playing with friends and cousins, reading books, playing with cars, playing outside, and of coarse his "B"- blanket- Pooh and Tiger.
He may look like the typical little 3 year old boy to everyone else, but he is far from typical to me and I am honored he is mine! I am so proud of him and look forward to the next 3 years I have before he starts school, and I assume they will go by just as fast as the first 3! I will write another post here this week about his party and hopefully I will learn how to post pictures!
Here are the Birthday pics!! Enjoy!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
3 under 3
Having 3 children under the age of 3 can has its challenges, but it also has some really awesome experiences that I wouldn't change for anything! Now that Hudson is rolling around, scooting in circles, and smiling from ear to ear all the time, Carlyle and Lenore are really starting to interact with him a lot more. It is so fun to see how excited Carlyle gets when Hudson smiles at him... "Hudson smiling you!" (meaning Hudson is smiling at me) he always says. Lenore is always giving him toys and kisses and sometimes I catch them playing on floor just next to him and many times all together. It is precious that they come to him just to include the little man in their play and I believe Huddies is in heaven! He loves his big siblings! I was worried for a little while when Hudson first joined our family. Carlyle and Lenore were and are the very best of friends. After Hudson was born Carlyle had a really hard time adjusting. He threw many fits with any transition, whether we were at home going to the car or out going into the store, there was a fit and it was dramatic! Falling to the floor an throwing himself in the middle of the road. I thought I would never get my sweet Carlyle back and after a few weeks and a whole lot of prayers he started warming up to his little brother and slowly stopped the fits and initiated Hudson into the gang by falling on his head and giving him sticky kisses. It wasn't however until Hudson started to smile that Carlyle really warmed up to him, looked out for him, and wanted to be with him like he does his sister. He LOVES making him smile!
The other day Hudson fell asleep next to Carlyle in my bed so I left them there to take a nap, I walk up a few minutes later just to check on them and I heard giggling as I walk up the stairs. I walk in only to see them both laughing... at each other laughing. It was a precious sight! Lenore has made a great adjustment to not being the baby, she loves her brothers and I think she even enjoys being the only princess. She is bossy and I have to say she really knows how to work us because she pretty much always gets her way! She has learned to say "no" and uses it more often than I would like! She is sassy, but has the tiniest body and little face that makes it almost impossible to say no to! I would say she has James and I, along with her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even her big brother wrapped around her little finger, I wonder if she will learn to keep it that way and know exactly what she is doing and playing us all! :)
Anyway, those are the major fun things I enjoy having kids so close. Nothing is better than having build in best friends! The biggest challenge I have faced is sleep deprivation! I am always so tired and I really wish I just had half the energy the kids have. I pray after I am done with school I will get a little more me time and stress off my shoulders to ease some of the sleepiness! The other challenge is getting out the door. I am not a home body and really like to get out of my house! I like traveling and moving and going, but it is so exhausting and physically demanding when taking 3 kids, who still can buckle their own car seat, out! So to put your minds at ease, we are taking a break from having babies until I get a little sanity back and some physical health. We are settled for now and feel we want more kids someday, 3 under 3 keeps us busy enough for now!
The other day Hudson fell asleep next to Carlyle in my bed so I left them there to take a nap, I walk up a few minutes later just to check on them and I heard giggling as I walk up the stairs. I walk in only to see them both laughing... at each other laughing. It was a precious sight! Lenore has made a great adjustment to not being the baby, she loves her brothers and I think she even enjoys being the only princess. She is bossy and I have to say she really knows how to work us because she pretty much always gets her way! She has learned to say "no" and uses it more often than I would like! She is sassy, but has the tiniest body and little face that makes it almost impossible to say no to! I would say she has James and I, along with her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even her big brother wrapped around her little finger, I wonder if she will learn to keep it that way and know exactly what she is doing and playing us all! :)
Anyway, those are the major fun things I enjoy having kids so close. Nothing is better than having build in best friends! The biggest challenge I have faced is sleep deprivation! I am always so tired and I really wish I just had half the energy the kids have. I pray after I am done with school I will get a little more me time and stress off my shoulders to ease some of the sleepiness! The other challenge is getting out the door. I am not a home body and really like to get out of my house! I like traveling and moving and going, but it is so exhausting and physically demanding when taking 3 kids, who still can buckle their own car seat, out! So to put your minds at ease, we are taking a break from having babies until I get a little sanity back and some physical health. We are settled for now and feel we want more kids someday, 3 under 3 keeps us busy enough for now!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Getting Out Of My Comfort Zone
This post is a little out of my comfort zone so I am going to pretend nobody is actaully going to read it. That way I can write what comes to mind and not sarcastic remarks that hide how I truly feel on a sensitive and sacred topic. I am not one to poor out my soul to others... unless you are one of the very lucky ones who have had the rare occasion to have a heart to heart with me! I however know that it will be important for my children to read our families story and know that I have a testimony of the true and living Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I had the wonderful opportunity to attend Time Out for Women with my fabulous mother! It was my first time and to be honest I was only excited to go to spend time with my mom, not for the uplifting spirit I would feel. I was cynical at the idea of a bunch of women getting together for a weekend of WOMEN POWER!!! haha! Or the thought that I would have to share my feelings with women I didn't know or even my own mother for that matter... blah! Too mushy for me! The fact is though, TOFO is not at all like that. I learned so much and feel uplifted and more confident in my divine role as a women.
Very inspiring people were able to come share their stories and their talents and I wanted to jot down some thoughts before they left my mind and in consequence don't allow me to be a better person or mend my soul, but instead by writing I can reflect on how I feel in hopes to truly allow the things I learn to take affect on the way I lead my life.
As you know I have two beautiful little boys and one sweet little girl! I confess, I feel I have always known I would have boys. I feel I have been called to have boys and knew that I felt that at a young age. I was chosen to raise boys in this life and teach them righteousness and help them be prepared to serve a mission. I took that responsibility seriously and I was never going to jeoperdize myself to not get those boys I was asked to raise.
I remember one evening in particular while I was in High School or first year of college, and feeling down in Spirit and finding myself on my knees praying for peace and strength and knowledge on what I should do. In that moment I saw a little round blonde boy with big chunky cheeks, and he was mine, and he was needing me to make changes in my life to prepare myself for him to come to me. I could feel other spirits with him needing me to do the same thing. I felt they were my children and I had an obligation to fight against the things I wanted or "my plan"- if you will- and do what the Lord wanted, and on His time, and with His plan for me. I repented and asked for forgiveness and expressed the love I had at my tender age for my unborn children I would soon meet, and thanked my Heavenly Father for answering my prayers and giving me the comfort that these Spirits were counting on me and that He would one day trust me enough to send me these children to me to raise. I have always remembered that and will forever be greatful for this sacred experience, which later led me to many difficult choices I have had to make, to be with the worthy priesthood holder I am with and have the wonderful family I have.
On that note, like I said, I KNEW I would have boys! It was no shock to me when I found out Carlyle would be joining our family. However; I had never given much thought to being a mother of a daughter. I didn't worry about raising Lenore, like I do my boys. I get girls, I DO NOT get boys! and their hormones, or puberty, or jokes and dumb cartoons they think are funny. I can handle the tears and the sensitivity of body image, and giggling over boys... I love that I have a daughter- even though to be honest I was completely shocked to find out I was having a little girl- and am truly thrilled I get to be her mom! I didn't realize though, what a divine calling it was to be a mother of a daughter until this weeked. I was chosen to be the mother of this beautiful, perfect little angel and she needs me to guide her to her spiritial potential, just as much as my boys. She is a divine daughter of God and I am her sole example of what a daughter of God should be. It is a HUGE responsibilty. I am up for the task because it is what was asked of me.
For some reason... Heavenly Father trusted me enough to put his arms around me and call me by name and ask me to raise these children and bring them home to Him. I feel unworthy to have such perfect beings in my life, yet so incredibly grateful for the opportunity I have to be their mom and recieve the joy they bring me! I know as sure as the sun rises that being a women and being a mother is a divine calling and I couldn't ask for a grater assurance then knowing that it is not only my desire to have these children in my life, but it is also Heavenly Fathers desire for me. I do write these things in the name of Jesus Christ and am so grateful for my own mother and her example to me and love she has always had for me. I hope Lenore will one day see the love I have for her, like I see my mother has for me, when she one day steps into the shoes as a role of a mother.
I had the wonderful opportunity to attend Time Out for Women with my fabulous mother! It was my first time and to be honest I was only excited to go to spend time with my mom, not for the uplifting spirit I would feel. I was cynical at the idea of a bunch of women getting together for a weekend of WOMEN POWER!!! haha! Or the thought that I would have to share my feelings with women I didn't know or even my own mother for that matter... blah! Too mushy for me! The fact is though, TOFO is not at all like that. I learned so much and feel uplifted and more confident in my divine role as a women.
Very inspiring people were able to come share their stories and their talents and I wanted to jot down some thoughts before they left my mind and in consequence don't allow me to be a better person or mend my soul, but instead by writing I can reflect on how I feel in hopes to truly allow the things I learn to take affect on the way I lead my life.
As you know I have two beautiful little boys and one sweet little girl! I confess, I feel I have always known I would have boys. I feel I have been called to have boys and knew that I felt that at a young age. I was chosen to raise boys in this life and teach them righteousness and help them be prepared to serve a mission. I took that responsibility seriously and I was never going to jeoperdize myself to not get those boys I was asked to raise.
I remember one evening in particular while I was in High School or first year of college, and feeling down in Spirit and finding myself on my knees praying for peace and strength and knowledge on what I should do. In that moment I saw a little round blonde boy with big chunky cheeks, and he was mine, and he was needing me to make changes in my life to prepare myself for him to come to me. I could feel other spirits with him needing me to do the same thing. I felt they were my children and I had an obligation to fight against the things I wanted or "my plan"- if you will- and do what the Lord wanted, and on His time, and with His plan for me. I repented and asked for forgiveness and expressed the love I had at my tender age for my unborn children I would soon meet, and thanked my Heavenly Father for answering my prayers and giving me the comfort that these Spirits were counting on me and that He would one day trust me enough to send me these children to me to raise. I have always remembered that and will forever be greatful for this sacred experience, which later led me to many difficult choices I have had to make, to be with the worthy priesthood holder I am with and have the wonderful family I have.
On that note, like I said, I KNEW I would have boys! It was no shock to me when I found out Carlyle would be joining our family. However; I had never given much thought to being a mother of a daughter. I didn't worry about raising Lenore, like I do my boys. I get girls, I DO NOT get boys! and their hormones, or puberty, or jokes and dumb cartoons they think are funny. I can handle the tears and the sensitivity of body image, and giggling over boys... I love that I have a daughter- even though to be honest I was completely shocked to find out I was having a little girl- and am truly thrilled I get to be her mom! I didn't realize though, what a divine calling it was to be a mother of a daughter until this weeked. I was chosen to be the mother of this beautiful, perfect little angel and she needs me to guide her to her spiritial potential, just as much as my boys. She is a divine daughter of God and I am her sole example of what a daughter of God should be. It is a HUGE responsibilty. I am up for the task because it is what was asked of me.
For some reason... Heavenly Father trusted me enough to put his arms around me and call me by name and ask me to raise these children and bring them home to Him. I feel unworthy to have such perfect beings in my life, yet so incredibly grateful for the opportunity I have to be their mom and recieve the joy they bring me! I know as sure as the sun rises that being a women and being a mother is a divine calling and I couldn't ask for a grater assurance then knowing that it is not only my desire to have these children in my life, but it is also Heavenly Fathers desire for me. I do write these things in the name of Jesus Christ and am so grateful for my own mother and her example to me and love she has always had for me. I hope Lenore will one day see the love I have for her, like I see my mother has for me, when she one day steps into the shoes as a role of a mother.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Honesty
I have finally decided to join the crusade! That is the blogging army of coarse... I was frustrating myself with the fact that I have had 3 kids in 2.5 years and don't have written record of any of their births or the cute things they do everyday. When I tell funny stories people always say "You need to write this down" and I never do... My intentions are good, but I do forget and am glad I now have a place to jot down a few things here and there. This blog is also to update our families with pictures of the kids and new things going on the the life of us Bennett's!
The other day we were sitting down with Carlyle, who we have been potty training since the beginning of August, we smelled something that we have become quite familiar with over the last few years, and new he had not made it to the bathroom. We kindly asked him if he needed his pants changed. Not wanting to get the "we need to tell mommy when you need to use the potty" lecture, he replied, "no". James asked again, and he still replied, "no". James and I decided he needed to learn a lesson of honesty instead of another potty lesson. So we explained that we knew he had gone to the bathroom and if he didn't tell us he would have to sit in time out.
James- Did you go to the bathroom in your pants?
Me- It's okay if you did, we just want you to tell us.
Carlyle- Nope. I fresh bum.
James- Okay Carlyle, you need to go sit in time out.
Carlyle completely heartbroken and in tears sat in time out and paid his "dues".
At this point I wasn't sure if he understood why he was in time out. I looked at James and said I don't know if he understands and I don't want him to think he is in trouble for the accident, but knows it is because he wasn't being honest about it. James assured he would help him understand...
The timeout countdown began 1-10, and he stood up walked over to James and was asked again, James-"Carlyle did you have an accident?"
Carlyle-He relplied softly... "no".
James- "Carlyle are you being honest? Did you have an accident?"
Carlyle-"Yes, I did."
James- Thank you Carlyle for being honest!
Carlyle- Finger goes up in the air "uh, I need to tell mommy!" turns to me "Mommy I went poop!
I think he learned his lesson and I loved that he felt he needed to tell me personally! I sure love that little boy and the last few weeks, he has been honest when we ask him, even if he does initially like to blame his sister for things every once in a while.
The other day we were sitting down with Carlyle, who we have been potty training since the beginning of August, we smelled something that we have become quite familiar with over the last few years, and new he had not made it to the bathroom. We kindly asked him if he needed his pants changed. Not wanting to get the "we need to tell mommy when you need to use the potty" lecture, he replied, "no". James asked again, and he still replied, "no". James and I decided he needed to learn a lesson of honesty instead of another potty lesson. So we explained that we knew he had gone to the bathroom and if he didn't tell us he would have to sit in time out.
James- Did you go to the bathroom in your pants?
Me- It's okay if you did, we just want you to tell us.
Carlyle- Nope. I fresh bum.
James- Okay Carlyle, you need to go sit in time out.
Carlyle completely heartbroken and in tears sat in time out and paid his "dues".
At this point I wasn't sure if he understood why he was in time out. I looked at James and said I don't know if he understands and I don't want him to think he is in trouble for the accident, but knows it is because he wasn't being honest about it. James assured he would help him understand...
The timeout countdown began 1-10, and he stood up walked over to James and was asked again, James-"Carlyle did you have an accident?"
Carlyle-He relplied softly... "no".
James- "Carlyle are you being honest? Did you have an accident?"
Carlyle-"Yes, I did."
James- Thank you Carlyle for being honest!
Carlyle- Finger goes up in the air "uh, I need to tell mommy!" turns to me "Mommy I went poop!
I think he learned his lesson and I loved that he felt he needed to tell me personally! I sure love that little boy and the last few weeks, he has been honest when we ask him, even if he does initially like to blame his sister for things every once in a while.
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