Not to Forget...

I know it has been awhile and I have lots to get caught up on... I was reading another ladies blog and she was so good at writing down funny memories of her children on the days that they happened. I wanted to jot a few things down myself before those precious moments are no longer instilled in my mind and I forget the funny things my children have said or done... (Love my parents to death! But we all have about the same 3 stories we hear about our childhood and I would LOVE to know more about he conversations we had as youngsters, so I will TRY and do that a little for my own children.)

(Potty training Carlyle, almost 3 years old)

Carlyle: Ahhh! I need to go to the bathroom! (runs in the kitchen with pants off and poops on my floor)

Me: Oops it looks like you already went. Let's go upstairs and take a bath.

(In the bath)

Me: Carlyle, you aren't in trouble, but do you understand that you need to tell me sooner if you need to go to the bathroom, so we don't have accidents on the floor?

(Carlyle looking very confused)

Carlyle: I pooped a hot dog in the kitchen! 

I don't love talking about poop but honestly this was hilarious! It was the first time he realized the physical structure of his bowels and compared it to what he was familiar with. I was not sure if he would want to eat a hot dog again... but it didn't seem to phase the child! 

So I love talking to my children when I am driving. I like to ask them the things they see out the window and what direction I am going. Sometimes the things they are noticing are things I never would have picked up on myself and they continue to amaze me. Carlyle started telling me when the light was green or red, so I said "yes, on red we stop, and on green we go, and sometimes you see yellow which means slow down." (or speed up in Utah). 

So now when we drive, we will be engaged in a quite conversation or listening to the radio and out of no where I hear "STOP!!!" This is Carlyle yelling at me to stop because he has seen a red light. (Even if it is several blocks ahead.) Then as soon as it turns green he said "Go Mom! Go faster!" 

Ok I have Lenore throwing a major fit and yelling "My "B" mommy! My B! SO I will have to catch up on the rest later!

Continuing on...
Recent things my children are doing...

Carlyle: He will be playing in another room from me, or coming down the stairs or using the restroom, and he wants my attention so he says, "Mom I need to talk you a second."

He will randomly comes up to me or interrupts a conversation I am having to say, "Mom, I love you!"

When you ask him who is best friend is, it varies between... hampa, mom, and Jesus. -It used to be Hudson and Lenore! (All good choices in my book!)

He told me the other day we need to live in Boise and he needs to go back to hampa's.

We asked him who was going to live in his new home, which is being built, He listed the five immediate family members and hampa.

He sometimes points to something and asks questions about it (even if it is the millionth time) he won't accept my acknowledgment until I am looking directly at the item. This means the turning of my head with his hands until I SEE what exactly he is talking about.

He is the biggest bedtime staler! He always needs to get a drink, or use the bathroom, or get kisses and hugs ( "I need kisses I need hugs"). He is a bed sneaker too. We put him in his bed to sleep, and come up stairs later to retire for the evening and find the little nugget in the middle of our bed past out so cute we never have the heart to return him to his own room.

He LOVES Hudson and Lenore! He always makes sure they have what he has and they are taken care of before anything. A couple of friends spit water in Lenore face the other day (they are little mind you)! and Carlyle went up to spit on them standing in front of her to protect her. (We don't encourage that behavior, but it is sweet to know that he will protect his sister at all costs!)

He has done this on several occassions however; when Lenore had just learned to walk a little boy at church went up to her and grabbed her hand to hold. Carlyle runs up and pushes him over and says "no, my ister!" Later, around Christmas, we were at temple square with some friends and a little boy came up to look at Lenore, apparently he got to close because again Carlyle ran up to him and growled as loud as he could at the kid. (I apologized to the sweet little boys parents both times.)

Lenore: She is the sweetest little girl EVER! She knows how to play her parents and any family member really, to get her way!

James and I were having a discussion in the car tonight on the way to Carlyle's soccer game. She wanted James's attention and just kept repeating , "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, DADDY!!!" Finally when he looked back and said, "yes Lenore?" She just gave him a big grin! How can that not melt your heart?

When she is grumpy she has a grumpy face! She has scowled since she was just a few months old and she had got that look down! She now does it on purpose sometimes just to make her brothers laugh.

She is also so sweet to her brothers. She brings them their toys and drinks, and blankets. She is Hudson's little mamma! She loves standing in front of him and says, "walk me! walk me!" Even if he just falls right over and crawls to her she still cheers for him so proudly!

She loves making Carlyle happy and has been known to share special candies and treats with him when he finishes his first. Now, I just need to teach Carlyle it isn't expect she always need to share when he eats faster than her. Sometimes he says to me like he is being really nice, "I share Lenore's". (As he reaching his hand out and she so generously gives it to him.

Hudson: What a sweetheart we have been blessed with! He is such a happy baby! He loves to laugh and play!

He can be a lot of work because he needs constant attention and likes being looked at all the time! I swear he knows when I turn my head for a second! He will cry and come speed crawling over!

He has taken a few steps but doesn't seem to be quite willing to walk fully on his own.

He LOVES bananas! He will now eat other table food, but for a while he would chuck anything else on the ground, throw his hands up and say "na, na, na, na". When I would give in and hand him a banana he would be so excited I would assume he has wet himself!

He sits by Lenore when we eat and if he finishes his food and wants more he just reaches over and takes it from her! She sometimes gets upset when she was about to take a bite of what he grabbed from her, but sometimes she just starts piling it on his plate she doesn't want it.

All the children have learned to trade food on their plates. 

My Grandma Helen

Wow it has been a long week and it is only Wednesday, but for the last 2 days I have felt tomorrow is Friday... I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings and experiences these last few days. Our dear beloved Grandma Helen was called home to our Heavenly Father Monday evening and even though, at 90 years old, she has lived a long and fulfilled life, we miss her and our hearts ache for her absence. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to not only get to meet this woman, but to have her be apart of my life and get to know her personally. I remember meeting her for the first time and she was so instantly welcoming. (My mother-in-law inherited this trait from her) She loved me and accepted me as her own granddaughter. Even before James and I were officially married she became MY Grandma Helen. I am honored to have had the chance to know her in this life and truly look forward to seeing her again someday.

Lets go back a couple weeks... The 15th of February James calls me from work and says grandma is sick in the hospital and felt we should go down and see her. We later found out she was supposed to be sent home in 2 days, so it didn't seem as though she was at serious risk for us to rush down. We wondered if we should even go. We didn't want to intrude on her while trying to feel well in the hospital, and we figured we would go down shortly after I was finished with my student teaching to spend some time with her. Saturday morning came, my little Lenore's second birthday, and we thought it would be fun to just get out of the valley for the day. I felt an overwhelmingly strong impression we needed to go see her. I told James and we went down. We got to spend some quality time with her. She had put on her make-up that day and told us how the nurses didn't believe she was 90 because she didn't have white hair. "I will NEVER have white hair!" she said with her acute sense of humor. I left the room for a while to take my restless children on a walk around the hospital and James got to talk with grandma and spend time with our Hudson for a while. It is so good to know she got to meet my children. We had some quality one on one time with her that day.

When we got there they had told her she wouldn't be going home the next day because she had a little bit of water in her lungs. They thought maybe in two days things would look better. When we left the hospital James and I agreed that we were both glad we listened to the prompting to go down and see her. I felt in my heart she wouldn't be going home and if so chance it was her time we got to see her and chat with her as her pretty normal self, which was comforting.

We went about our week and things kind of took a turn for the worse with grandmas health. Sunday morning I had a strong feeling grandma was going to leave us. I didn't say anything because I didn't know if it was me thinking in fear or personal intuition. During church I felt that grandma was going to pass away tomorrow (the 25th). I told James of my feeling as soon as he got a call from his brother around 4 p.m. saying grandma was in bad shape and we needed to head down as soon as possible. We loaded the kids in the car and took off. I had to get back to Logan that night to be at work (student teaching) Monday morning, but I left James to stay as long as he needed. My heart longed to be there with him. I was terribly torn, but knew I had to get back. I fortunately got to go inside and spend about 10 minutes with grandma before I had to get back on the road.

I walked into her room and could hear and see her agony. I literally used everything inside of me to fight back the tears. (This is extremely hard for me, because I have no control over my emotions EVER) I wanted cry but felt I needed to be strong for her and for James. I sat by her and eventually went over to her side and held her hand and petted her hair. I felt so helpless. She muttered a few words here and there... She told me she was going to go. She said she wanted to. I didn't blame her either. (I would want to go if I was in as much pain as she seemed to be in!) I prayed she would hold on until my mother-in-law arrived. I kissed her head and said goodbye, (still fighting back tears), and waved as she smiled at me as I walked out the room. I was able to get in my car and started on the free way.

My heart was terribly troubled for many reason. I wanted to stay and I couldn't, My heart broke for the pain my grandma was in, and I was concerned for my family. Particularly my mother-in-law and sister-in-law Samantha. I called Sam to check up on her and as soon as I heard her voice I couldn't keep it in any longer. We sobbed on the phone together and as hard as it was, it was healing for me to talk about it. I wished for the fact she could be with grandma- knowing how bad I wanted to be there (I knew for her it was multiplied by 10+). As I have gotten older and have become more experience with death and being around families and my family who have lost loved ones, I realize something about myself. I am deeply empathetic. I appreciate this about myself, although I hate it sometimes because it means I bawl like a baby and literally cannot control a single emotion I possess. I internalize every feeling someone must have and it consumes my mind and emotions. This feeling was no different Sunday night for my family. Thankfully my mother-in-law made it down and was with her when she passed. I am personally grateful for that, as I am sure she is too.

Grandma with my little Hudson this last summer

I anxiously was by my phone all day and waited to hear news from my husband. He was good at keeping me posted throughout the day. About 6 pm I received the call she had passed. It was another emotionally exhausting evening and I didn't much sleep, but Tuesday morning I felt an overwhelming amount of peace and happiness. There is a longing in my heart to see her again, but I think of the celebration that awaited her and I cannot help but smile. I cannot help but imagine how happy she is, pain free, and with so many people to love her and give her all the attention in the world! (I know she is in heaven! -Figuratively and literally ;) ) I  know this weekend will be hard, but I am looking forward to the chance to celebrate the wonderfully lived life of my Grandma Helen.

Stay at Home Mom...

Ah, the never ending debate as to whether moms should stay at home or go to work... I could get into it and cause someones blood to boil, but I will keep my VERY strong opinions about this issue to myself! I do want both sides of the fence moms to know though... that being a mom is hard! EITHER way! It is a very difficult, frustrating, tiring job. Obviously, it is also the most amazing and rewarding job, but lets face it... the hardest things to do are always the most rewarding. This however is NOT what this post is about.

This is a post of 10 reasons why moms should be home... not for the moral reasons though...

1) Working moms have to get up AND out the door around 7:30. This isn't just getting HERSELF ready either, it is getting 3 children ready who cannot do a single thing for themselves... Trust her that is exhausting enough for the day!

2) As soon as she is ready her child poops and needs a diaper change as soon as she is about to put them in the car.

3) It is so icy outside she has to park across the street where the sun hits the ground, so she doesn't get stuck for a second time that week in her parking place and have to call her husband to walk home from work to push her out and show up late for work again.... it also takes her 3 trips to the car because she has to individually carry each child across the ice and all the things she needs to take to work.

4)Her other child has a potty accident in the car on the way to the sitter and she doesn't know until she shows up and also realizes she has no extra pants or underwear for him to wear.

5)She gets inside and realizes she also forgot to bring formula for the baby and has to run to the nearest store to buy some, along with a bottle, because her house is a 20 minute drive each way.

6) Then as she is finally pulling out to get to work she is already running late for, she gets stuck in her babysitters snow and ice covered driveway for 30 minutes, until 4 women are digging and pushing her mini-van out of the pile.

7) She shows up late, wet, and dirty for work.

8) After she struggles getting her children dressed and wrestled back into the car from the sitter she has to head down the street to the store. She places all of them in the back of the cart and uses the children's laps to place the few items she NEEDS on them. (She is planning another trip in her mind when the husband gets home to get everything she can go without for the time being.) People are staring at her as if she were a mutant from Mars. (It couldn't possibly be because of the squished and screaming children she is ignoring in the cart!)

9) She get home to put in a freezer meal that is only supposed to take an hour to cook, but ends up being at least 2 hours and now she and the kids are starving and it is way past their bed time. (She is wishing she picked up burgers or a pizza on the way home.)

10) She doesn't want a repeat of the same day so she parks at the end of the sitters driveway and somehow grows an extra arm to haul all the children through the snow up the large hill just not to get stuck on the ice. She picks up a pizza and spends more than her days pay on food for her family because cooking dinner just isn't in her physical capacity tonight.

DISCLAIMER: THE THINGS IN THE ABOVE STATEMENTS ARE ALL TRUE. THEY HAVE ALL HAPPENED TO ME AT SOME TIME OR ANOTHER. NOT ON THE SAME DAY.

There are many more reasons why it is nice for mom to be at home, but I will not discredit the stay at home mom either... BOTH are exhausting and time demanding jobs! One woman does not necessarily have it easier than the other. Yes, as a stay at home mom your anxiety level can be lower because time demands aren't as critical. However; stay at home moms never get a break all day and have rare adult interaction! I admire hard working women who help support their family when it is needed and I admire women who stay home to raise their babies when income is being sufficed by their husbands. I never thought being a mom would be so much work and I have never loved my own mother more than when I became one myself. :) Now off to plan lessons for school and hope to get off to bed before midnight...

The Great Indoors!!!

Ah I finally have a moment to sit for a minute... (not really, but I am making a minute). I want to start by saying... I am LOVING my student teaching experience. I honestly could not imagine enjoying it as much as I have. I still cannot believe that I am already at this point of my schooling! (I know, I know... my repetition of this thought I am sure is getting annoying!) Anyway, I have been so blessed with being placed with the most awesome group of kids and the most awesome teacher I get to observe, work with and learn from! I am in a really good situation and am enjoying life right now. My kids are with a really great sitter who adores them and they love playing at her house! AND I love that they are not cooped up in my  house everyday in this horrifically cold weather!

What can we do for free to get out of the house in negative temperatures?? TOYS at the mall!

The adjustment has had its ups and downs with me going back to work and there are definitely pros and cons. Carlyle especially has become attached to me when we are home at night. He wants to sleep in my bed every night and usually has been getting his way. (And lets face it... mom wants him in there too). I like making up for the time we aren't together during the day even if we are both asleep. Lenore and Hudson are adjusting well but are both tired earlier in the evening so my time is cut a little shorter than I sometimes like. HOWEVER, the best part about STUDENT teaching is I get to go home as soon as school is out, which is 3:30. So I don't feel like I am not getting solid time at home. I am HOWEVER losing solid time of house work (AKA laundry). I hate laundry! haha!

Here is what I get to wake up every morning!

With this terrible weather and awful inversion it is hard to get out of the house. So the BIGGEST advantage for our family as far as my going "back to work" is getting all of us out of the house in the morning. My kids get moving more, playing hard, and taking long naps for the sitter! :) (Which I am sure she enjoys).

Gotta love a warm bath before bed!

Besties

I am learning so much about teaching from my coordination teacher (Kim Mills). I am learning that I love this job! I enjoy being in front of the classroom and honestly feel proud when students are grasping concepts because of what I am teaching them. It amazes me how smart a 2nd grader can be and I am finding true joy in this experience. I feel it is making me a better person and mom and leader. I am beyond excited to be at school during the day and for the first time in a job experience, I am not looking at the clock every hour. I do want to learn to manage my time better so when I get home I can do a little laundry and just hang with the kids. (SO I need to be on top of the crock pot meals).

She lines up her princess and puts them to sleep!

How do I rotate these images???

Anyway, in spite of the changes at home and the freezing cold weather, we are having a great winter and finding time to enjoy the indoors! ( Although I really miss me some Vitamin D!)

I was on Holiday

So I kind of went on a blogging hiatus this past month. I was thoroughly enjoying my 4 weeks off from school, my last few weeks at home with my kids and of coarse, the holidays! So let's sum up the last month of 2012 and the first part of 2013.

This was our second Christmas home, here in Logan, with just our little family. We sure enjoyed the relaxing few days James had of work. When I was growing up a tradition we had was to go to Chinese food on Christmas Eve. I loved it so much we decided to carry the tradition on with our own family. We also thought it would be fun to start the tradition of going to a movie on Christmas Eve. So we all loaded up in the car and headed to see "The Guardians". We were running late and missed the first  showing (little did we know we should have continued to the theater to buy tickets to the next showing) but instead we went to lunch and took Carlyle to the dollar store to pick out a Christmas gift for Lenore and Hudson. We then headed back to the theater and of coarse they were sold out! Who would have thought a movie that had been out for a month would be sold out? So we bought tickets for Christmas day and figured that was a better tradition anyway. We weren't hungry right away so we headed home and the kids were so tired we had leftover pizza for dinner and decided to go to Chinese Christmas day. (Maybe next year we can carry out the true tradition.) I have to say it was nice not to cook for 2 days and just get to enjoy my family!

Another tradition James and I both had was opening pajamas Christmas Eve. We decided that even though as adults we realized how completely unoriginal our parents were, the tradition is a lot of fun so we want to carry it on and be completely unoriginal ourselves! Lenore was way into with her princess pj's and Carlyle LOVES when Hudson wears the same thing as him, so their matching monkey pj's were a hit!

Growing up we weren't allowed to go look at the presents until everyone was awake and we would all go down together to see what Santa brought us. I was willing to give up every other tradition to keep this one in my house with m own kids. James didn't have that "tradition"/"rule" in his home, but he understood how much it meant to me so he reluctantly lovingly gave in to keep this tradition in our home.

We wake up the kids around 7 in the morning and go downstairs. Santa came and brought Carlyle a RED bike, and Lenore sweet little princess "barbie type" dolls. They were thrilled and so cute to see their eyes light up. Even Hudson was beside himself with an interactive music toy Santa brought Carlyle and Lenore him.

We opened presents until about 10, ate homemade quiche for breakfast, took a nap, and hung around the house until we got dressed and went out to the movie and to dinner. The kids had a hard time sitting through the movie and we decided it was probably the last we would take all of them to together for a while, but dinner was nice and all in all the whole day two days were so great! We love that we were able to change our plans last minute according to the kids and go with the flow of the day. It is nice to be on our own schedule when James has a few days off!

I love this time of year and getting to reflect on the things we have accomplished and get ready for the fresh start and clean slate of the new year. I especially love reflecting on the birth and life of our Savior. It is neat to get to teach our children about the true meaning of Christmas and listening to them speak of Christ in the reverent ways they do. Our hope as parents is our children will always have testimonies of our Savior and always want to do good. Carlyle is a shining example of charity and love even at 3 years old. We feel so blessed for the things we have and the challenges we are given to help us grow. 2012 was a great year and we look forward to the great adventures 2013 will bring.

Our New Year didn't start out as planned. We were going to have a little party with friends, but unfortunately they were sick and we partied on our own. The kids went to bed early we had snacks and a Cheers marathon in bed and were both passed out by 10:30!  Even though we didn't get to participate in a New Years count down and I believe James and I have yet to share a midnight New Years kiss (since being married), it was again nice to get some good sleep and enjoy our New Years day hanging around the house and getting ready for the week.

My parents have made a few trips down and we have had fun opening gifts, sledding, playing games, and eating with the family! My brother is being deployed to Afghanistan in a couple months so it was nice to spend some time with him before he has to leave. I sure love the relationships my children are building with each member of our families and we feel blessed to have such great influences in their lives!

Well it has been too long and I will post later this week about goals and resolutions, but one of them is to blog about once a week and not let the precious moments I get to share with my kids and family be forgotten.

Besties

I have been noticing lately how well my kids get along with each other and help each other out. It is so precious to me to see them becoming such good friends. They have this amazing connection and they just know to watch out for each other and include each other in activities. Carlyle especially watches out for his little siblings and makes sure nobody takes their stuff (and believe me, if they do, they hear for it!) Carlyle is not afraid to stand up to any kid to make sure the item taken from his brother or sister is replaced by any means necessary! (growling and ripping out of hand included).

He is a comfort to his siblings. When either of them are crying he runs over and starts to say "shh shh shh..." and sings " I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck, doodle doodle doo doo doo!" Sometimes it makes them smile so big the tears stop completely! Lenore also watches out for her brothers. She is always giving Hudson kisses, and making Carlyle happy by giving him the rest of her fruit snacks or hot dogs when Carlyle ate all his first. She is very good at sharing as long as someone asks her first. If they say please, she will give up almost anything!

James and I were watching CB shoot hoops in the living room tonight and Hudson was just beaming watching his big brother play basketball. Carlyle caught notice of Hudson's smiles and giggles, he went over and gave him the ball and said, "Here Huddie's, you shoot it!" We told him how nice it was to share with his brother and he then proceeded to help him shoot it. He took his hands and helped hold the ball and said, "shoot!", then took the ball and shot it up in the hoop and gave Hudson all the credit! Where did he learn such sweetness? It was one of those tear up moments as a parent to witness a 3 year old be so Christ like. It made Hudson's night to get that kind of attention from his hero! Their love for each other definitely makes me proud.

They love being around each other. We have been having to put  Lenore in the pack and play in the boys room because she keeps falling out of the bed and her and Carlyle don't sleep when we put them together anymore. They just stay up and play until Carlyle plays to rough and Lenore ends up in tears. But now Carlyle always asks for her to sleep with him, "My Lenore, my Lenore, I need my Lenore!" We sometimes give in, but it always ends the same... (with  Lenore back in the pack and play.) I like it though, because Lenore and Hudson are also developing a pretty sweet relationship too. She and him just look at each other, chat in Chinese, and giggle through the cribs. It is funny to listen to, and she keeps Hudson occupied a little longer some mornings to give me a little extra sleep. :)

Carlyle loves getting Lenore to play organized activities with him. They were in the bath tonight and he stood up and said, "Hold my hand Lenore." She does, and they start going around in a circle singing Ring Around the Rosie. About the time it gets to ashes, ashes Lenore says down and falls, and Carlyle (a little frustrated) sings the rest by himself and splashes into the water. I had James bring a video camera up, but as soon as it started to film Carlyle got goofy and shy, so we didn't get a good recording but it was cute.

Hudson woke up shortly after and I asked the kids if he could take a bath with them and Carlyle did not want him to! "No No put his shirt on! he is too little for the water!"- interpretation: (he was concerned about the water being to high for him because I usually only put an inch or two in the tub and fill it up more after I take Hudson out. After I assured Carlyle he would be okay and set him in the water, he was very excited that his, "baby Hudson" got to join them! And Hudson happy as can be as well! I sure love my sweet little babes! They make me want to be better... and nicer to my own siblings....

An End in Sight

Hurray! I am back! It has been too long! I sometimes wish I had a video camera following me around so I can say what I am thinking right then and write about it later. I have a lot of awesome thoughts and opinions that run through my mind during the day and I think "oh I have to remember to blog about that!" and do I remember? nope.

So as many of you know, I just finished my LAST class before student teaching! I have to say it was a surreal moment for me. I remember a little over 3 years ago, when I started with the University of Phoenix, I was given a schedule of all my classes and the dates they would start and finish. I was originally supposed to be done with classes in June 2012, but with a baby here and a baby there, I am thrilled that I just finished in the year 2012! Anyway, at the time, August 2009... the year 2012 seemed so far away! This last class and student teaching seemed so distant that there really wasn't an end in sight. It was like this for a long time, my class list seemed so long and there were times, I felt it would never get to the end!

So to actually have finished that entire schedule of listed classes they gave me back in 2009-before ANY children- is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and sometimes when reality sets in that I am almost done completely I can't help but tear up! This has been a long road and I have to say I am proud of myself! I made it here with a lot of things that could have gotten in my way to not finish. There were SO MANY times I wanted to toss in the towel and call it quits, but I didn't, there were nights I was up until 5 in the morning finishing homework, hysterical from frustration and lack of sleep, I didn't think I could function the next day. BUT somehow I did. I would get up in the morning and get 2 kids ready by myself and head to work all day, come home, sometimes clean and cook... other times get take out and ignore the household duties... feed the kids, bath them, put them to bed and start on homework. This was my life, OUR life (James too) for so long, it was just what we did. We didn't always like it, but we both stuck to it and tried not to complain to much. (James was better at the last part than me.) There were times I would have to haul both kids in the car at midnight and take James to work then come home and put the kids back to sleep and then start my daily routine in the morning. ( I recollect doing this more often, but James doesn't remember me having to take him to work that much...) I was literally doing homework, writing papers and taking tests in the hospital the day I had each of my kids. We did what we had to do and we have been made better and stronger people than we were because of it. I don't write about this to impress anyone (trust me if you saw it in action you wouldn't be that impressed!) A smile wasn't always on my face, or make up for that matter, my house was at many times a mess and I couldn't for the life of me keep up on the laundry, decorating, gift giving, and thank you card writing. I was tired.

There were definitely luxuries I missed out on. Many people who are busy with school, take time off work or cancel plans and focus solely on the assignments and test they have at hand. I mean lets face it, school is a lot of work! FOR ANYONE! Whether you have kids or not whether you are working or not, it is tough to get through it and find time for a life and school. People get stressed with a class and cannot do anything else but that until it is done... Well I never had that as an option, if I had an assignment due and James wasn't home from work, I still had to make dinner and put three kids to bed. I still had to find time somewhere in my day for my most important responsibilities. Lucky for me James and I work well together and try hard to lighten the loads as much as we can for each other, but he is in the same boat as I am! (Which by the way he will be done with classes at the beginning of February! I am so proud of him!)

Anyway, we always thought it would be nicer if James didn't have to work night anymore, and for James... it was! But for me it meant working full time. That was a trying year, (last year, first of this year). I was in some of my most demanding classes and working full time and surprised to find out we were expecting Hudson! Our 3rd little miracle! During the winter the kids and I got really sick! They were in and out of the doctor all the time, I was in and out of the hospital and care centers trying to get healthy! We even had to fly my mother in law out to take care of the kids, so I could get back to work! (How grateful we were for her! and all the support our family gave during that time!)

I became so mentally and physically exhausted I had to take something off my plate. School was in full swing and would have been hard to take a break from without having to pay for it, not being a mom or being pregnant obviously wasn't an option, so I had to be done working! I took and early maturity leave and have been at home ever since. It got a little easier when I quite, but soon Hudson was here, and 3 kids definitely threw me for a loop! I became completely out numbered and it has taken me longer to figure out this learning curve to maintaining all of them! (I am still trying to figure it out!) School never went away, until now that is... I have a whole month break! :) And it was challenging to keep up with all the other obligations I had as a family member, church member, and friend, but I don't know where are would be without any of that!

I have learned a lot about myself through all of this, one thing I learned is, I can do hard things, I am still doing hard things, there is an end in sight but this journey is not over, we are going to have a trying 3 months ahead, but I am confident we will get through it and breath a sigh of relief when this part of our life is over and the next chapter of trials begin! Now that I am to this point I can say, I definitely wouldn't trade any of these experiences for anything! They are what make me who I am, and what makes our family who we are, and has gotten us to this amazing point in our lives! We have so much to be grateful for and there are so many people who have gone through so much more adversity than me, who would read this and say "you think that was hard? haha!" And I admire those people! And am grateful I am not having to suffer difficult situations as they are. I have a good life and a blessed family and am eternally grateful for the experiences and path that Heavenly Father has given me. I look forward to finishing my student teaching in March and getting to focus on other important activities life has to offer.